- Joined
- Aug 20, 2022
- Messages
- 31,057
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- 113
(Serious; Wall of text) Opinion: To continue 30yr friendship or cut?
What would you do, if you were in my shoes?
About friend: Long time unemployed and single never dated, almost 40 years old. Behaviour rather anti-social, as if the world owes him a living, for how his life turned out. He tried applying for government/social funding to get free money, but they have turned him down.
About friendship: There is the 3 of us. Both of us have been funding his food and drinks whenever we hang out. We cater our meeting place to be near his home, because he does not have money to take bus too far away. Overall friendship seems to be 1-sided, he does not make any effort. He is purely a taker, never a giver.. Not even emotional/mental support, on that end, he sucks the life/positivity out of people.
Situation: Over the past 10+ years we have tried all means to cheer him up and motivate him. In the latest instant, i initiated to play a mobile game with him because what better way to have more chance to chitchat via playing game right? One that is rather free-to-play.. He turned highly competitive, he receives all our insights but refuses to answer anything about tips. In fact he does not want to share his user name to identify himself.
About my thoughts: Overall, at almost 40 years old, i am quite done with maintaining relationships that aren't mutual.. In this case, i feel it is toxic and drains me mentally and emotionally. However, we have been friends since 10 years old. So this is a 30 year 'friendship' of sorts, though i suspect he sees me more like an enemy.
Why enemy: On my important life events, no congratulations from him. In my limited touchpoints with him, ie in this specific game, he saw i was not able to squeeze into a guild but yet he was not willing to request access for me despite his high score. And he will attack me in ranking to take the higher reward output.
For your opinion: Every interaction with him sucks the joy and life out of me. At almost 40 years old, i feel that there is no more need to put up with relationships that are toxic and that the other party seems to regard me as an enemy more than just even an acquaintance. Over the last 10 years i have tried my best to help him with finding a job and motivating him in life. Its not working. Whats holding me back from exiting this 'friendship' is that we have a common pal that i don't want him to feel awkward or difficult position. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
