This morning, I slithered out of the bed while the swine is still snoring like an A380 engine. I changed, went for my revitalising early morning run, a run, which I probably need, to “cleanse” my fat consumption this week. When I returned, the swine's "engine" was still roaring over the Pacific Ocean, cruising at 38000 feet in the bright and sunny blue skies.
I had previously suggested to him that he should see a sleep disorder specialist at Mount E. I think he has sleep apnoea problem. To date, he hasn't. My solution ∼ I have forbidden him from sleeping before I doze off. Am I bitchy? I did share this with Sue previously. She said no. I agree
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When I returned from my pulsating run, I heard a vibration from his mobile. Instinctively, I decided to take a look and saw a notification message ∼ "wanna meet up for lunch next week?" ∼ it was from someone with a girl's name (for privacy reasons, I shall refer to her as “Cocotte”).
I guess Cocotte must be one of his ex-flame. Guess what I did? I unlocked his phone (as I knew his password) and typed a reply to Cocotte ∼ "sorry, i m not free, will arrange with you another time". I then deleted both messages from his phone.
While making breakfast, I mused over my actions of concocting a deceitful reply to Cocotte. I felt awful, my conduct appalling, my action abysmal. I think I have allowed possessiveness to get the better of me. I was bitchy, I admit :( .
When he woke up, refreshed himself, and we were having the strawberry pancake breakfast which I made, I sheepishly told him what I did on his phone, earlier on. Astonishingly, he smiled and said it's ok, no big deal. The smile and manner of his reply was candid, felt genuine and not wry.
I asked if he was upset. He said nope without hesitation. He added that he would have replied the same too as he isn’t interested in Cocotte. I felt better instantaneously. He told me I am free to access his mobile anytime as he has nothing to hide from me. The unassuming reassurance, I felt from him, was like E.T touching Elliot’s forehead in the movie. I was indeed moved .
Well, while writing this piece, I am not sure whether I have been too suspicious about his ‘outside’ activities, or he is really a "changed" man, dedicated to me unequivocally. My heart believes the latter. My brain, otherwise.
My heart says I have been a bitch and I have been "nasty" to him unnecessarily. He loves me and I should not doubt him.
My brain says all men cannot be trusted. In fact, it says trust no one, not even myself. Every one of us cheats at some point in our life.
Thinking aloud while penning this piece, I asked myself ~ Have I "cheated" on him since the start of this challenging relationship?
Perhaps?
I am sure he flirts with women that “entice” him too, and so do I, vice versa.
While I have stopped dating other men, I do not deny that I enjoy a "flirt" once in a while with those handsome and tall Caucasian expats in office or with those guys that Sue hangs out with, who are probably more polished and refined than him, wealthier and exude more stature. Nonetheless, I have been thoroughly faithful to him.
Well, I can be bitchy, but I think I haven’t been that bitchy. That's my conclusion. Have a great weekend, guys!
PS :
And especially to my elder brother, Eat, who has painstakingly guided and made my short stay here much more pleasant, away from those hoodlums and shoddy characters who can't even string a proper sentence without resorting to improprieties.
Also to Charlie, my SNAG; Zhi; Wunder; Blackie; Big; John; Panda; Yahoo; Hard; Ash; R2D2; Long; Ult; C3PO; Choot; Froggy; Winnie; Ru; Kraft; Jah and others whom I haven't formed a deeper impression and online relationship .
You guys have been great for infotainment, entertainment and counsel in my 5 months here .
There you go, I ain't bitchy, right?
I had previously suggested to him that he should see a sleep disorder specialist at Mount E. I think he has sleep apnoea problem. To date, he hasn't. My solution ∼ I have forbidden him from sleeping before I doze off. Am I bitchy? I did share this with Sue previously. She said no. I agree
.When I returned from my pulsating run, I heard a vibration from his mobile. Instinctively, I decided to take a look and saw a notification message ∼ "wanna meet up for lunch next week?" ∼ it was from someone with a girl's name (for privacy reasons, I shall refer to her as “Cocotte”).
I guess Cocotte must be one of his ex-flame. Guess what I did? I unlocked his phone (as I knew his password) and typed a reply to Cocotte ∼ "sorry, i m not free, will arrange with you another time". I then deleted both messages from his phone.
While making breakfast, I mused over my actions of concocting a deceitful reply to Cocotte. I felt awful, my conduct appalling, my action abysmal. I think I have allowed possessiveness to get the better of me. I was bitchy, I admit :( .
When he woke up, refreshed himself, and we were having the strawberry pancake breakfast which I made, I sheepishly told him what I did on his phone, earlier on. Astonishingly, he smiled and said it's ok, no big deal. The smile and manner of his reply was candid, felt genuine and not wry.
I asked if he was upset. He said nope without hesitation. He added that he would have replied the same too as he isn’t interested in Cocotte. I felt better instantaneously. He told me I am free to access his mobile anytime as he has nothing to hide from me. The unassuming reassurance, I felt from him, was like E.T touching Elliot’s forehead in the movie. I was indeed moved
.Well, while writing this piece, I am not sure whether I have been too suspicious about his ‘outside’ activities, or he is really a "changed" man, dedicated to me unequivocally. My heart believes the latter. My brain, otherwise.
My heart says I have been a bitch and I have been "nasty" to him unnecessarily. He loves me and I should not doubt him.
My brain says all men cannot be trusted. In fact, it says trust no one, not even myself. Every one of us cheats at some point in our life.
Thinking aloud while penning this piece, I asked myself ~ Have I "cheated" on him since the start of this challenging relationship?
Perhaps?
I am sure he flirts with women that “entice” him too, and so do I, vice versa.
While I have stopped dating other men, I do not deny that I enjoy a "flirt" once in a while with those handsome and tall Caucasian expats in office or with those guys that Sue hangs out with, who are probably more polished and refined than him, wealthier and exude more stature. Nonetheless, I have been thoroughly faithful to him.
Well, I can be bitchy, but I think I haven’t been that bitchy. That's my conclusion. Have a great weekend, guys!
PS :
And especially to my elder brother, Eat, who has painstakingly guided and made my short stay here much more pleasant, away from those hoodlums and shoddy characters who can't even string a proper sentence without resorting to improprieties.
Also to Charlie, my SNAG; Zhi; Wunder; Blackie; Big; John; Panda; Yahoo; Hard; Ash; R2D2; Long; Ult; C3PO; Choot; Froggy; Winnie; Ru; Kraft; Jah and others whom I haven't formed a deeper impression and online relationship
.You guys have been great for infotainment, entertainment and counsel in my 5 months here
.There you go, I ain't bitchy, right?
