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crazy man fucks a potato

gsbslut

Stupidman
Loyal
GUY PUT HIS KKJ INTO A POTATO TO PCC, SAY IT'S BETTER THAN GIRLS CAUSE WON'T BETRAY HIM

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I f-ed a potato. I got the idea from a radio show and thought that it might feel good. I cut a hole long ways through the middle and used it to beat myself off.
It wasn’t enjoyable at all and I remember the guilt and shame I felt as I snuck a broken, come covered potato to the throw it in the rubbish bin. It smelled weird as well.
I told some friends at school and it became pretty common knowledge, not that I cared. I never really had too much of a problem getting laid in my school years and I think me and that potato taught a lot to each other.
Some of the girls who heard about it found it kind of intriguing. Looking back on it that potato was the only thing I’ve f-ed that didn’t lie to me and betray me.
It was there when I needed it, it didn’t talk and performed its duties admirably (though it was a bit cold, rough, and slimy) and it probably would have fed me if I needed it to. And I discarded it like so much flotsam in a sea of mediocrity.
I’ll pay for this mistake for the rest of my life. Some times at night when I can’t fall asleep I still think about you, noble spud.
I’m sorry I didn’t mash you the way you needed me to, I was young and stupid. Now you’re in a landfill and I’m in a bigger, more putrid landfill they call the world. Maybe on some other life we can, you know.
  1. Find a bigger potato
  2. I heard that many guys heat up a grapefruit, cut a hole in it, and go to town. I look at a lot of produce differently now.
  3. No shame, just would never eat at your house. If you will do that to poor innocent potatoes, then no food is safe.
  4. Usually when someone says f potatoes I think they don’t enjoy the texture. Apparently you put a new meaning on this
  5. Ah yes the unconditional love a mere simple potato can provide in the heartaches of life is something few words can describe. Good for you man.
 
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