In step

The Law of Reversed Effort

For reading & meditation - Hebrews 2:5-18

"But we see Jesus ..." (v. 9)

Yesterday we said that we must make sure we do not entertain evil thoughts. How does it work in practice?

Build within your mind a strong picture of Jesus, and when an evil thought comes into your mind, turn and look at Him. Those who study the mind tell us that evil thoughts are not driven out by dwelling on them, even prayerfully.

It is bad tactics to direct sustained attention to them, even in penitence, for then you experience what is called the law of reversed effort. This law states that "the more attention you focus on avoiding something, the more likely you are to hit it." A simplified form of this happens when a cyclist sees a pothole ahead of him, and concentrates on avoiding it - only to run into it.

The longer things are held in the focus of attention, the deeper they are burned into the memory and the more mental associations they make. The way to overcome them is to outwit them by swiftly directing the mind to some other absorbing theme.

It may be difficult to dismiss them, but they can be elbowed out by a different and more powerful idea. What better idea than to hold a picture of Jesus in your mind, reinforced by daily Bible meditation and prayer, so that in the moment of overwhelming testing, the mind is turned toward Him.

One who developed this technique into a fine art said: "Christ in the heart and mind is the safeguard. To think of Him is to summon His aid. Evil thoughts dissolve in the steady gaze of His searching eyes."

Prayer: O God, my Father, help me develop in my mind and imagination such a powerful picture of Jesus that it will become the saving focus of my being. Help me turn to Him immediately whenever evil thoughts crowd my mind. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

The Last Thought at Night

For reading & meditation - Psalms 4

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." (v. 8)

Let your last thought at night be a thought about your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The last thoughts that lie on our minds at night are powerful and determinative, for the door into the subconscious is opening and they drop in to work good or evil. It's bad enough struggling with evil thoughts while you are awake; don't let them take control while you are asleep.

Your conscious mind may be inactive while you are asleep, not so the subconscious. The last thoughts lying in your mind as you go to sleep usually become the "playthings" of the subconscious, and it works on these during the hours you are asleep. If it is true that your mind is active while you are asleep - and there certainly seems to be plenty of evidence to support this theory, then make your mind work in a positive and not a negative way.

Satan delights in dropping an evil thought into your mind during the moments immediately prior to sleep, because he knows that it will work destructively all through the night, influencing your attitudes and most likely preventing you from enjoying a peaceful night's sleep. Then when you wake, you find that not only do you have to face the problems of another day, but you also have to face them without having drawn fully on the resources available to you through sleep.

Thus begins a recurring pattern which cannot help but drag you down. So learn to elbow out any evil thought that enters your mind just before sleep, and let your last thought be a thought of Christ.

Prayer: Father, if it is true that my mind works when I am asleep, then help me to make it work for good and not for evil. Teach me the art of holding a thought about You on my mind immediately prior to going to sleep. I shall begin tonight, Lord. Amen.

Moving Together into Victory

For reading & meditation - 2 Peter 1:3-11

"... make every effort to add to your faith ... self-control ..." (vv. 5-6)

God is willing to do His part in helping you in this battle with evil thoughts - but you must be willing to do yours. There is a teaching in some Christian circles that if we discover a need for change in our lives, we should passively wait upon God until He accomplishes it. It sounds so spiritual, but actually it borders on profound error.

A Christian man once said to me: "I would like to be free from a certain sin I am involved in, but I find I am powerless to break away from it." I asked him what he expected to happen in order for him to find deliverance.

He said, "I expect God to take away the desire for this sin and thus set me free." He was saying, in effect, "God is responsible for delivering me, and my task is to wait passively until He does so."

That view is unbiblical - and what is more, it doesn't work. Although deliverance comes from God, we are the ones who carry it out. Let that sink in! The principle is this - you supply the willingness, and He will supply the power. Do you really want to win this battle against evil thoughts?

If so, you can. Show God you mean business by putting the principles you have learned this week into practice, and you will pave the way for His miraculous power to work in and through you. Once you have done this, life's oppressive and evil thoughts will never be able to break you again. Here, too, you can become strong at the broken places.

Prayer: Gracious Father, thank You for reminding me that deliverance is a team effort. It involves the Holy Spirit and me. I supply the willingness: You supply the power. So let?s team up, Father, and move together into victory. Amen.

The Word to the Rescue

For reading & meditation - Psalms 119:1-16

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." (v. 11)

Another important principle to follow in developing a plan to overcome oppressive and evil thoughts is this: Store up the Word of God in your mind so that it becomes readily available in times of need.

This is one of the most powerful and successful principles of Christian living. Sometimes people write to me and say: "Your practical suggestions are very interesting and intriguing, but do they work?" I have one answer: try them and see!

They most certainly work for me, and I am absolutely sure that if you apply them in the way I am suggesting, they will work for you, too. A minister who was away from home on a preaching visit was provided by the church with accommodations in one of the city's large hotels. One night, while going up in the elevator, a woman accosted him and suggested that they should spend the night together.

"This was more than an evil thought," said the minister, "it was an evil thought clad in the most beautiful and attractive woman I have seen for a long time. I was lonely and she was available." He went on, "But do you know what immediately flashed into my mind? Not my wife and four children - at least not at first. Not even my position and reputation.

No, and not even the thought that I might be found out. The thing that immediately rose up within me was an instant visual replay of Romans 6:11-12, 'Count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.'" The memorized verse came to the rescue - right on time.


Prayer: Gracious Father, help me to have Your Word so deeply hidden in my heart that it triggers an automatic reaction within me whenever I am threatened by evil. For Jesus' sake. Amen

Coming Back from Doubt

For reading & meditation - John 20:19-31

"Thomas said to him, 'My Lord and my God!'" (v. 28)


We consider another important place where some Christians are broken - the area of deep and disturbing doubts. Some men and women have received Christ as their Savior and Lord, but yet are afflicted with paralyzing doubts. Some of these people go through deep agony of soul as they wrestle inwardly with doubt, ending up spiritually exhausted.

Someone like this told me that she was a scientist and had serious doubts about certain parts of the Scriptures. "I'm afraid that one day I will wake up," she said, "and discover that science has disproved large chunks of Scripture."

I could sympathize with her problem, but really her doubts were quite unfounded. Real science will never disprove Scripture, only confirm it. Half-baked science may appear to discredit the truth of God's Word, but real science can only validate it. I suppose the classic example of doubt is found in the disciple Thomas. We call him "doubting Thomas" - an unfair label if ever there was one. It's sad how we pick out a negative in a person and label him for that one thing. Thomas had his moment of doubt, but he came back from that place of weakness to become strong at the broken place.

How strong? Let history judge. A well-authenticated tradition has it that Thomas went to India and founded a church there. Even today there are Christians in India who call themselves by his name - the St. Thomas Christians. They are some of the finest Christians I have ever met. Thomas had his doubts allayed in one glorious moment of illumination - and then he went places. So can you!

Prayer: O my Father, just as You took Thomas and changed him from a doubter to a man of amazing faith and achievement - do the same for me. For Your own dear Name's sake I ask it. Amen.

Truth - in the Inner Parts

For reading & meditation - Psalms 51

"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ..." (v. 6)

What do we do when we find ourselves assailed by honest doubts? Firstly, we must learn to distinguish between honest doubts and defensive doubts. Many of the doubts that trouble Christians concerning aspects of the Christian faith are made half-consciously into a screen to hide some moral weakness or failure.

I am not denying that some people experience acute intellectual problems in relation to their faith, and it would be arrogant to suggest, or even hint, that everyone troubled by doubts is consciously or unconsciously using them as a screen.

But because experience has shown that some do, this issue has to be faced. Ask yourself now: am I using my doubts as a "defense mechanism" to cover up some weakness or personal defect? A "defense mechanism" is a device employed by our minds to prevent us from facing up to reality.

Adam used a defense mechanism when he blamed Eve for his sin. It is called projection - refusing to face up to personal responsibility, and projecting the blame onto someone else. Could it be that some of your doubts may be due to this? I am not suggesting, of course, that they are, but they could be.

If you are willing to look at this issue objectively, or perhaps with the help of a wise and responsible Christian friend, then, I assure you, God will not withstand your plea. One hymnwriter said: Jesus the hindrance show, Which I have feared to see Yet let me now consent to know What keeps me out of Thee.

Prayer: Gracious Father, You know how difficult it is for me to see myself as I really am. Help me to be honest with myself - even ruthlessly honest. For I want to be as honest as You. Help me in this hour of challenge. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

Dealing Positively with Doubt

For reading & meditation - Acts 17

"... they ... examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." (v. 11)

What do we do when we find ourselves assailed by honest doubt? Well, first we must recognize that doubts can be valuable if they motivate us to search deep and long for the answers.

Perhaps it was this thought that led Samuel Coleridge to say, "Never be afraid of doubt ... if you have the disposition to believe." Unfortunately, there is very little sympathy given to those who doubt in most evangelical churches. Doubters are about as welcome in some congregations as a ham sandwich in a synagogue! It was because of the lack of concern shown in many churches toward those with honest doubts that two American missionaries, Francis and Edith Schaeffer, set up their ministry in a remote Swiss village.

They established a center for those with doubts about their faith and called it L'Abri, which is French for "The Shelter." Hundreds made their way there over the years, and came back with their doubts resolved. Have you ever heard of Frank Morrison? He was an agnostic who, many years ago, set out to demonstrate the validity of his doubts about the resurrection of Christ.

The more he looked into the facts, however, the more convinced he became that Christ actually did rise from the dead. He finished up writing a book entitled Who Moved the Stone?, which is one of the greatest evidences for the resurrection I have ever read. There are clear answers to all the doubts you may have concerning the Christian faith. Search for these answers, and the more you struggle, the stronger will be your faith.

Prayer: Father, help me today to understand that all things can contribute to my faith, including my doubts. When I realize this, then I will go far. Thank You, Father. Amen.

John's Doubts about Jesus

For reading & meditation - Matthew 11:1-11

"... 'Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else? '" (v. 3)

Although God would prefer us to believe, He is exceedingly loving and gracious toward those who struggle with honest doubts. Did you notice, when we were looking at Thomas the other day, that Jesus did not reject his doubting attitude, nor did He refuse his request for physical evidence that He was truly the Christ?

Instead, Jesus said to him, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe" (John 20:27). The passage before us today tells of another occasion when one of Jesus' followers became oppressed by doubt.

John was in prison, and probably suffering great discomfort and disillusionment. John?s messengers came to Jesus, wanting to know whether He really was the Messiah, or whether they should be looking for somebody else. John, you remember, had baptized Jesus and had introduced Him to the world with these words: "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" (John 1:29). Does it not seem strange that John, who witnessed the descent of the Holy Spirit upon Jesus at His baptism, should now have doubts about who He was and the validity of His mission?

How did Jesus respond to this situation? With tenderness and sensitivity, He said, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear ..." (Matt. 11:4-5). Our Lord could have rebuked the doubting disciple with strong words of reproof, but He didn't. Although He cares about problems, He cares more about people.

Prayer:
Thank You, Father, for reminding me that You see me, not as a problem but as a person. I know You are concerned about my doubts, but You are more concerned about me. I am deeply grateful. Amen.

Decide to Believe

For reading & meditation - James 1:2-12

"... when he asks, he must believe and not doubt ..." (v. 6)

Another important principle to employ when dealing with honest doubts is this: Make a conscious decision to doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs. Living an effective Christian life, as we have been seeing, depends on how willing we are to exercise our wills in favor of God and His Word.

To do this requires faith in the fact that God has revealed Himself in His Son and through the Scriptures. As a teenager, I had many doubts about the Scriptures but, one night, I made a conscious decision to accept them as the eternal and inerrant Word of God. Notice, I said "a conscious decision."

I decided by an action of my will to doubt my doubts and believe my beliefs. I then found an astonishing thing. Both doubt and faith are like muscles - the more you flex them, the stronger they become. I had been using the muscles of doubt to a great degree, but unfortunately, I had failed to exercise the muscles of faith.

When I made up my mind to accept the truth of God's Word by faith, muscles I never thought I had began to function. Now, many years later, those muscles are developed to such a degree that I find, where God is concerned, it is easier to believe Him than to doubt Him.

I trace the beginnings of my own spiritual development to that day long ago, when I decided to take what one theologian called "the leap of faith." Perhaps today might become a similar day of decision for you. Decide to doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs. Now!

Prayer: O God, perhaps this is the secret: I have used the muscles of doubt more than the muscles of faith. From today, things will be different. I decide to take You and Your Word on trust - now let it work. Amen.

Do Your Emotions Take Over?

For reading & meditation - Psalms 103

"... the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon those who fear him ..." (v. 17, RSV)

We continue exploring ways in which we can become strong at the broken places caused by deep and disturbing doubts. Another point we should keep in mind in relation to this question of doubt is that some doubts are rooted more in the emotions than in the intellect. Our emotions are an important part of our being, and they can do much to make our lives either miserable or meaningful.

When emotions take over, they cause our thinking to waver, so that we can come to faulty conclusions about life. Ask yourself this question now: am I a person who is ruled more by my emotions than by my intellect? If you are, then it is likely that your doubts are rooted more in your feelings than in your mind.

Many years ago, a Christian university student came to me complaining that he had serious doubts about the inspiration and reliability of Scripture. As I counseled him, I heard the Spirit say, "This is not an intellectual doubt, but an emotional one." I explored with him the area of his feelings, and he confessed to me that he could never remember a time in his life when he ever felt that he was loved.

When the emotional problem was resolved, his doubts vanished of their own accord. His problem was not intellectual, but emotional. Reason and emotion are both important in life, but decisions, especially decisions about the Christian life, must be built not on what we feel to be true but on what we know to be true.

Prayer: My Father and my God, help me trace my problem to its roots and meet me at the point of my deepest need. This I ask in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Thomas, the Doer

For reading & meditation - Acts 1:6-14

"... you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses ... to the ends of the earth." (v. 8)

Recognize that if you could not doubt, you could not believe. So don't be threatened or intimidated by your doubts. Robert Browning put it like this: "You call for faith: I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists. The more of doubt, the stronger faith, I say, if faith o'ercomes doubt."

Those who doubt most, and yet strive to overcome their doubts, turn out to be some of Christ's strongest disciples. One commentator points out that Thomas, being a twin, must have developed an early independence of judgment that made it possible for him to break with his brother and become a follower of Jesus.

This is an assumption, of course, but I think it is a valid one. It was that independence, perhaps, that led him to reject the testimony of the other disciples when they said, "We have seen the Lord." Jesus did not reject Thomas because of his doubts, but said to him: "Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe" (John 20:27). Suddenly his doubts vanished, and he was transformed in that moment into one of Christ's most committed disciples. Up until then, no one had called Jesus "God "

They had called Him, "Messiah," "Son of God," "Son of the Living God" - but not "God." Here Thomas the doubter leaped beyond the others, and became the strongest believer of them all. And this faith of Thomas?s did not stop at faith - it resulted in mighty achievement. The doubter became a doer. And how!

Prayer: O God, what a prospect - my faith, at first so tentative, can, through Your illumination and my response, become a driving force. It can not only save me, but send me. May there be no limits! Amen.

Danger in the Home

For reading & meditation - Matthew 11:25-30

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me ... and you will find rest ..." (v. 29)

Another area of life where many are broken is through troubles in the home. "Life " as Hemingway put it, "breaks us all " but perhaps nothing is quite as painful as being broken by difficulties in one's home. Have you been broken by problems within your family circle? Then take heart - out of the brokenness God can bring strength.

What kind of troubles bring us to a breaking point in the home? These are just some of them: incompatibility, disagreements, separation, threats or the action of divorce, insensitivity, bickering, quarrels, misunderstandings and violence, not to mention such things as alcoholism, drug abuse, mental and emotional breakdowns, child and adolescent rebellion, or gross neglect of the aged members of the family.

Even in some Christian homes, things can get pretty desperate. A study completed at the University of Rhode Island described the American home as the most dangerous place to be - apart from a war or a riot. It's also getting like this in Britain. All of us have experienced some hurt through broken relationships in the home. Many, out of loyalty to their families, face the world with a smile, but inwardly they are bleeding.

I know a woman who was heartbroken by her husband?s adultery and the rebellion of her children, but today she has recovered and is busy staunching the bleeding wounds in other people's hearts. So it can be done. To those of you broken by troubles in the home, our Lord says, "Learn from Me: I will make you so strong at the broken places of your life that you shall minister to others out of that hidden strength."


Prayer: O God, You know how easy it is to blunder in this delicate and difficult business of relationships. I needsomeone to lead me in the right way. You lead me, Father - I will follow. Amen.

Our Three Primary Needs

For reading & meditation - Colossians 2:1-10

"... in Him you have been made complete ..." (v. 10, NASB)


The first principle we must learn if we are to recover from the brokenness caused by troubles in the home is: Depend on God, and not on anyone else, to meet the deepest needs of your personality. Allow this truth to take hold of your innermost being and you will become a transformed person.

The most basic needs of our personality are these: (1) the need to be loved unconditionally (security); (2) the need to be valued (self-worth), and (3) the need to make a meaningful contribution to God's world (significance). Human beings can only function effectively to the degree that these needs are met. If they are unsatisfied, our ability to function as a person is greatly hindered; if they are adequately met, then, other things being equal, we have the potential of functioning effectively.

Notice, however, this important point - our needs for security, significance, and self-worth can be fully met only in a close and ongoing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. If we do not let Christ meet those needs, then because they have to be met in order for us to function effectively, we will attempt to get them met in and through others.

Although many do not realize it, this is what draws many people toward marriage, because they see the possibility of having their needs met through their partner. But no human being, however loving, kind, and considerate they may be, can fully meet these needs. I say again: they can be met fully only in a close and ongoing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.


Prayer: Father, I sense that I am on the verge of something big and challenging. Help me to grasp this, for I sense that if I do, I shall become a transformed person. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

Are You a Manipulator?

For reading & meditation - John 15:9-17

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." (v. 12)


Yesterday we touched on what is perhaps the biggest single problem causing marital unhappiness - trying to get one's partner to meet needs that can only be fully met through a relationship with Jesus Christ. What happens if we do not allow God to meet our basic needs? We will try to get those needs met in some other way. Some people try to find satisfaction in achievement.

This, however, fails to bring lasting satisfaction, and whenever their inner discomfort reaches the threshold of awareness, they anesthetize it with more activities, achievement, and work. Another way is to attempt to get these needs met in marriage.

But if we enter marriage as a way of getting our needs met, then we consciously or unconsciously become involved in manipulating our partner to meet our needs. Instead of following the Christian vision of marriage, which is to minister to our partners from a position of security in Christ's love, we begin to manipulate them to meet our needs. Thousands of marriages, perhaps millions, are caught up in this treadmill - each trying to get their partner to meet the needs that only God can fully meet.

The best way to get our needs met is to depend on God to meet them. When we lock into Him and focus on how much He loves and values us, and on His purpose for our lives, then and only then are we free to minister in the way He prescribes in His Word. Without that inner security, we become exposed and vulnerable to the likes or dislikes of our partner. We become puppets - not people.


Prayer: O my Lord and Master, take me in Your arms today and make me so conscious of Your love that I will no longer manipulate others to love me, but will minister to them with the love I already have. For Jesus' sake I ask it. Amen.

Making God More Meaningful

For reading & meditation - 1 John 4:7-21

"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." (v. 12)
We have been seeing over the past two days that the first principle to follow in healing the brokenness that comes through troubles in the home is to depend on the Lord to meet our basic needs.

You might ask yourself: if the Lord can meet my needs for security, self-worth, and significance, why do I need a human partner at all? The answer to that question flows out of the next principle: In the relationship with your partner or your children, focus more on what you can give than what you can get. This can be exceedingly difficult, of course, if you are not allowing God to meet your needs, but once you are secure in Him, everything He asks you to do becomes possible.


Assuming our needs for security, significance, and self-worth are being met in God, we are then in a position to fulfil God's true purpose for marriage, which is this: God, who is an invisible, intangible, eternal Being, has designed marriage to be a visible, tangible demonstration of the reality of His love as we minister love and consideration to one another. Just think of it - in marriage we have the marvelous privilege of demonstrating God's love to our partners in a way that they can feel, touch, and understand.

Our love will not add to the fact of their security in Christ, but it will add to the degree to which they feel it. No wonder Martin Luther said that marriage was the greatest way God had of teaching us the truths about Himself. And the second greatest way? You've got it! The church!


Prayer: Father, to realize that I have the privilege of bringing the reality of Your love to others, and thus making You more real to them, is so incredible that it almost blows my mind! But I know it is true. Make me worthy of this privilege. For Jesus' sake. Amen

Accepting Your Partner

For reading & meditation - John 13:12-20

"... whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me ..." (v. 20)

The third principle for healing the brokenness that arises from troubles in the home only works if the previous two are clearly established: Accept your partner or your children, and don't just endure them. Too difficult? Look again at the verse at the top of this page, where we are instructed to accept each other just as God accepts us. And remember that when we supply the willingness, God supplies the power.

There is quite a difference, of course, between accepting your partner and enjoying him or her; the former is a scriptural requirement, the latter is something that is dependent on their response and behavior. Marriage sometimes involves living with an irritating, infuriating, and obnoxious person: how can we accept such a person, let alone enjoy him or her?

Acceptance does not mean that we have to enjoy everything our partner does: it means rather that we see our partner as someone to whom God wants us to minister, and we pursue that ministry whether we feel like it or not. Many Christians stumble over this. A lady who recently came through to victory on this point said to me, "But how can I accept my husband, who is nothing more than a loathsome, alcoholic pig?"

I said, "It's impossible as long as you are depending on your husband to meet your need for security. Depend on God to meet that need, and then see what happens." She did so, and found that when she no longer depended on her husband to meet her security needs. she saw him in a completely new light. Then she had no difficulty in accepting him.


Prayer: O God, this sounds too good to be true. Can life?s difficulties be resolved so easily? Give me the courage not to dismiss anything until I've tried it, nor resist any principle that is in harmony with Your Word. Amen.

A Check-Up for Husbands

For reading & meditation - Ephesians 5:22-23

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church ..." (v. 25)


Over the next two days I want to establish two final principles for dealing with troubles in the home: one for the husbands and one for the wives. Today we begin with the men: Be prepared to give yourself a spiritual check-up on how you are doing as a husband. Cross out whichever answer does not apply.

1. Do you still "court" your wife with an unexpected gift of flowers or chocolates? (Anniversaries and birthdays not to be included) (YES/NO)

2. Are you careful never to criticize her in front of others? (YES/NO)

3. Do you make an effort to understand her varying feminine moods and help her through them? (YES/NO)

4. Do you depend on your wife to meet your basic personal needs? (YES/NO)

5. Do you pray together? (YES/NO)

6. Do you share at least half your recreation time with your wife and family? (YES/NO) 7. Are you alert for opportunities to praise and compliment her? (YES/NO) 8. Do you go to church together? (YES/NO) 9. Is she first in your life - after the Lord? (YES/NO) 10. Have you forgiven her for any hurts or problems she may have caused you? (YES/NO) A score of 7 to 10 yes responses - excellent! Below 7 yes answers - you've got some work ahead of you.


Prayer:
Father, You who have set us in families, help me to be the person You intend me to be, both in my marriage and in my home. This I ask in Jesus' Name. Amen.

A Check-Up for Wives

For reading & meditation - 1 Peter 3

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands ..." (v. 1)

Yesterday the men were asked to examine themselves using a simple questionnaire as to how they were doing as husbands. Today a similar opportunity is extended to wives.

1. Are you depending on the Lord to meet your basic needs for security, significance, and self-worth? (YES/NO)

2. Can you meet financial disasters bravely without condemning your husband for his mistakes, or comparing him unfavorably with others? (YES/NO)

3. Do you dress with an eye for your husband's likes and dislikes in color and style? (YES/NO)

4. Do you keep up your own personal prayer life so that you may meet everything that arises with poise? (YES/NO)

5. Do you avoid daydreaming or fantasizing about other men you might have married? (YES/NO)

6. Are you sensitive to your husband?s moods and feelings and know when, and when not, to bring up delicate issues? (YES/NO)

7. Do you respect your husband? (YES/NO)

8. Are you careful never to criticize your husband in front of others? (YES/NO)

9. Do you keep track of the day's news and what is happening in the world so that you can discuss these with your husband? (YES/NO)

10. Are you a "submissive" wife? (YES/NO) A score of 7 to 10 yes responses - excellent. Below 7 yes answers - it's decision time.

Prayer: My heavenly Father, I realize the tender relationships of home can be a shrine, or they can be a snarl. Keep my inner shrine from all wrong attitudes and from all worry. Let me approach today's challenge in the knowledge that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13, NKJV). Amen.

When Broken by Stress

For reading & meditation - Psalms 71

"You have let me sink down deep in desperate problems. But you will bring me back to life again, up from the depths of the earth!" (v. 20, TLB)

Another major cause for brokenness in human life is stress. Often I get letters from people saying something like this: "I feel I am on the verge of a breakdown. No one thing seems to be responsible for it, but I just can't cope.

My doctor says I am suffering from stress. Can the Bible meet this need?" I am bold to say that it can. God can take a person overcome by stress and build into their lives insights which will enable them to live above and beyond its paralyzing grip. What exactly is "stress"?

One doctor defines it as "wear and tear on the personality which, if uncorrected, can result in a physical or mental breakdown." Donald Norfolk, a British osteopath who has made a special study of stress, claims that it comes from two main causes: too little change, or too much change. To function at peak efficiency, we all need a certain amount of change.

However, when changes come too fast for us to cope with, the personality is put under tremendous stress. Dr. Thomas H. Holmes measures stress in terms of "units of change " For example, the death of a loved one measures 100 units, divorce 73 units, pregnancy 40 units, moving or altering a home 25 units, and Christmas 12 units.

His conclusion is that no one can handle more than 300 units of stress in a twelve- month period without suffering physically or emotionally during the next two years. Holmes, of course, was speaking from a strictly human point of view - with God "all things are possible."

Prayer: Father, You have taught me much on how to turn my weaknesses into strengths. Teach me now how to handle stress. I cannot change my surroundings - but I can change my attitude. Help me to do this. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

What a Waste!

For reading & meditation - Philippians 4:13

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (v. 6)

We continue meditating on the principles we can use when our lives are threatened by stress: Recognize the symptoms of stress. No alarm bells ring in our homes or offices when we are suffering undue stress, but there are adequate warning signs.

People under stress generally become irritable and overreact to relatively trivial frustrations. They show a change in their sleep patterns, and become increasingly tired and restless. They derive less pleasure from life, experience no joy while praying or reading the Bible, laugh less, and become plagued with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

They sometimes develop psychosomatic complaints such as tension headaches, indigestion and other things. Some people have what is known as "target organs" - physical organs that are the first to suffer when they are under stress. Harold Wilson confessed that whenever he had to fire a colleague, he suffered acute stomach pains.

Henry Ford suffered cramps in his stomach whenever he had to make an important business decision. Trotsky, when under pressure, used to develop bouts of high temperature, and frequently had to spend time in the Crimea recuperating. One businessman I know always has a glass of milk on his desk from which he takes frequent sips in order to calm his nagging peptic ulcer. Are you able to recognize your own particular patterns of stress?

You owe it to God and yourself to find out. The waste that goes on in Christian circles through believers channeling their energies into coping with stress, rather than into extending the kingdom of God, is appalling.

Prayer: O God, sharpen my ability to recognize the things I do that contribute to stress in my life, so that all my energies can be channeled into spiritual activity, not self-activity. For Jesus' sake. Amen