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beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
The Frog

An accountant was crossing a road one day when a frog called out
to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
week." The accountant guy took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a week and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the accountant guy took the frog out,
smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm
a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The accountant said, "Look, I work as an accountant. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's
cool."
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Redistribution

It is less important to redistribute wealth
than it is to redistribute opportunity.

~Arthur H. Vandenberg~
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Jesus cut a deal with satan


One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap(!), used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you! You don't want THOSE people!!"

"How much?" He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all your blood."

Jesus said, "DONE!"

Then He paid the price.*



HE paid the price by dying on the cross for the forgiveness of the sins of mankind.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Consider The Postage Stamp
========================
Consider the postage stamp:
its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing
till it gets there.

~Josh Billings~
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Strength


A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he
could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case
of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several
minutes, Morris had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said.

"I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a
wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to
wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's
see what you got."

Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said,

"All right. Get in."
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Failures
=======
Failures are divided into two classes:
1. Those who thought and never did.
2. Those who did and never thought.

~John Charles Salak~
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Jesus and the m&d puddle

Author unknown... but you've got to believe a 6 year old

Howard County Sheriff Jerry Marr got a disturbing call one Saturday afternoon a few months ago. His 6-year-old grandson Mikey had been hit by a car while fishing in Greentown with his dad.

The father and son were near a bridge by the Kokomo Reservoir when a woman lost control of her car, slid off the bridge and hit Mikey at a rate of about 50 mph. Sheriff Marr had seen the results of accidents like this and feared the worst. When he got to Saint Joseph Hospital , he rushed through the emergency room to find Mikey conscious and in fairly good spirits.

"Mikey, what happened?" Sheriff Marr asked. Mikey replied, "Well, Papaw, I was fishin' with Dad, and some lady runned me over, I flew into a m&d puddle, and broke my fishin' pole and I didn't get to catch no fish!"

As it turned out, the impact propelled Mikey about 500 feet, over a few trees and an embankment and in to the middle of a m&d puddle. His only injuries were to his right femur bone, which had broken in two places. Mikey had surgery to place pins in his leg. Otherwise the boy is fine.

Since all the boy could talk about was that his fishing pole was broken, the Sheriff went out to Wal-Mart and bought him a new one while he was in surgery so he could have it when he came out.

The next day the Sheriff sat with Mikey to keep him company in the hospital. Mikey was enjoying his new fishing pole and talked about when he could go fishing again as he cast into the trash can.

When they were alone Mikey, just as matter-of-fact, said, "Papaw, did you know Jesus is real?"

"Well," the Sheriff replied, a little startled. "Yes, Jesus is real to all who believe in him and love him in their hearts."

"No," said Mikey. "I mean Jesus is REALLY real."

"What do you mean?" asked the Sheriff.

"I know he's real 'cause I saw him," said Mikey, still casting into the trash can.
"You did?" said the Sheriff.

"Yep," said Mikey. "When that lady runned me over and broke my fishing pole,
Jesus caught me in his arms and laid me down in the m&d puddle."
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
What's Happening


We often focus on trying to change an event or circumstance,
when we really need to change the habits that caused it.

Often bad things that happen to us have happened before.

If we change the pattern, we keep it from happening again.

Work on your habits if you want to change what's happening.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
It Was
======
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,

it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,

it was the epoc of belief, it was the epoc of incredulity,

it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness,

it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,

we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,

we were all going direct to heaven,
we were all going direct the other way

in short, the period was so far like the present period...
 

God my healer

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small
daughter was very sick with a fever.
She left work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication.
She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do.

She called home and told the baby sitter what had happened.
The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse.
She said: "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had
been left on the ground possibly by someone else who at some
time had locked their keys in their car.
She looked at the hanger and said: "I don't know how to use this."

She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.
Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up.
A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought: "This is what you sent to help me?"

However, she was desperate, she was also very thankful!

The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.
She said:"Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some
medication and I've locked my keys in my car.
I must get home to her.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said: "Sure."
He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said:
Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied: "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON
yesterday, I was in prison for car theft.

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud:
"Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional !!"
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
I Love You?
==========

I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me,
"I love you." There is an African saying which is:
Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.

~Maya Angelou~
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Inspirational and Inspiring Gifts

john 3:16 - i don't understand it


In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in. A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers. He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there, at night. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say "John 3:16" and they will let you in."

So he did, he walked up the steps to the door, and knocked on the door and a lady answered. He looked up and said, "John 3:16."

The lady said "Come on in, Son."

She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace and she went off. He sat there for a while, and thought to himself "John 3:16.... I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm."

Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?"

He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days and I guess I could stand a little bit of food."
The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more.

Then he thought to himself "John 3:16... Boy, I don't understand it, but it sure makes a hungry boy full."

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself, "John 3:16... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big, old fire hydrant as they flushed it out."

The lady came in and got him, and took him to a room and tucked him into a big old feather bed and pulled the covers up around his neck and kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he laid in the darkness and looked out of the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself, "John 3:16... I don't understand it, but it sure makes a tired boy rested."

The next morning she came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and she took a big, old Bible and sat down in front of him and she looked up at him and she asked, "Do you understand John 3:16?"

He said, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it."

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 , and she began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there in front of that big old fireplace he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought, "John 3:16. I don't understand it, but it but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe."

You know, I have to confess, I don't understand it either... how God would be willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand it either... but it sure does make life worth living.

------

John 3:16
16. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
 
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