God's gift to man
God's gift to man
Ikea comes to China
learn a word a day
My wife left a note on the fridge...
"It's not working! I can't take it anymore;
I've gone to stay at my friends!"
I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was still cold...
What the hell is she talking about?!!
This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a
group of building workers.* It's allegedly true and might help to confirm
your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human
A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. *One day, a
gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,
more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.* They
chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch
breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel
They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled
At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a
pay envelope - containing two dollars in 10c coins.* The little girl took
her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the
bank the next day to open a savings account.
At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little
girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she
had a 'pay packet'.
'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and
Wayne and Mike.* We're building a big house.'
'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the
house again next week?'
The child thought for a moment.* Then she said seriously:
'I think so -*provided those fucking wankers at Boral deliver the fucking
bricks on time
Last edited by yinyang; 24-08-2012 at 04:30 AM.
London gearing up for Olympics, new meaning to pruning
a friend is someone who walks in when the whole world walks out,
This is a joke that is supposed to bring you luck.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money.. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you
$25,000 that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square..'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that
there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure..'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the RoyalBank of Canada !'
Even if all you do is make someone laugh, send it on!
Getting home late one night, and wifey left this message
I'm not late anymore
Last edited by yinyang; 01-09-2012 at 02:50 AM.
Why I don't eat live seafood
Will be gone awhile, to watch tournament finals Why this is a popular Aussie sport
Here are some sardarji jokes that i have aLways enjoyed :
Subject: Fwd: "Sardar Jokes (All New)"
> *Sugar Test* *
> Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why?
> Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
> * * Sardars and scooter* *
> Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand.
> One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space.
> * * Lion and Sardars* *
> Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its
> eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why
> should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "
> * * Cyclone* *
> Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is cyclone"
> Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"
> * * Side Effects* *
> Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why?
> He wanted to avoid side effects
How to tell skirt is too short
More TGIF (bar funnies?)..
In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!
Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity, don't screw the opportunity.
What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?
Skill is more important than the instrument...
What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another damn woman trying to do a Man's job!!.
What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?
Stay out of BED for two days.
Last edited by yinyang; 07-09-2012 at 10:04 AM.
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