Guy orders a penis enlarger for $100.
Received a $5 magnifying glass with advice not to use in strong sun light!
Received a $5 magnifying glass with advice not to use in strong sun light!
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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
lol lol lol...
You don't say :p No KISS (keep it straight and simple)?? Or your dick's a joke?
Can drink , watch soccer and pee without leaving the seat. The privilege of getting old.
I think we have reached the stage, we would be inclined to agree that this bar has a brilliant concept !
It's the place to be, The Chase Tavern is opening up for seniors:
My humble 2 jokes worth
http://www.pinterest.com/heeeyambular/lolz/
http://www.pinterest.com/heeeyambular/lolz/
Wuqi, thanks for taking time from JB (lap sap bars?), for light hearted break :p
Will be perfect if can also take a dump. But then, how can multi-task? Also configuration's troublsome :pThosayMaureenNeo said:
Last edited:
Dating Pointers from a Scotsman
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!"
Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!"
So, they walked past it again...
A daughter asked her dad, "Dad, there is something that my new boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand --
He said that I have a beautiful chassis, 2 lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."
Dad said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and pulls out his dipstick to check the oil, I will give him such a servicing that -- his motor will cease functioning and his ball bearings will fall off!!"
Alice was well into her sixties when she went to her doctor complaining of nausea, exhaustion, and occasional cramps. After a thorough examination the doctor sent her to the hospital for a battery of tests, and finally confronted her with the results. "Mrs. Jones, medically impossible though it seems at your age, there's no doubt about it: you're pregnant."
"Impossible," she cried, and fainted dead away. When she came to, she staggered to the phone, dialed her 78 year old husband, and yelled, "You've knocked me up, you randy old goat!"
There was a long pause at the other end of the line. Then a voice said, "And to whom am I speaking?"
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"
"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."
The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."
"I understand," replies her husband, "but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no morecountry club. But the decision is yours."
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. "Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.
"That's his mistress," replies her husband.
"Ours is prettier," says the wife.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me?
I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond.
What in the world are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!"
Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!"
So, they walked past it again...
A daughter asked her dad, "Dad, there is something that my new boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand --
He said that I have a beautiful chassis, 2 lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."
Dad said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and pulls out his dipstick to check the oil, I will give him such a servicing that -- his motor will cease functioning and his ball bearings will fall off!!"
Alice was well into her sixties when she went to her doctor complaining of nausea, exhaustion, and occasional cramps. After a thorough examination the doctor sent her to the hospital for a battery of tests, and finally confronted her with the results. "Mrs. Jones, medically impossible though it seems at your age, there's no doubt about it: you're pregnant."
"Impossible," she cried, and fainted dead away. When she came to, she staggered to the phone, dialed her 78 year old husband, and yelled, "You've knocked me up, you randy old goat!"
There was a long pause at the other end of the line. Then a voice said, "And to whom am I speaking?"
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"
"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."
The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."
"I understand," replies her husband, "but, remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no morecountry club. But the decision is yours."
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. "Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.
"That's his mistress," replies her husband.
"Ours is prettier," says the wife.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me?
I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond.
What in the world are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother.
Runs in the family? :p
But penis lives again, after blow job
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