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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

bloodycock

Alfrescian
Loyal
Wife : Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today .

Husband : First make it, we will name it later

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A frustrated husband in front of his laptop: "Dear google, please do not behave like my wife... Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

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WuJianDao

Alfrescian
Loyal
gibtoon.gif
 

looneytan

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
This happened sometime ago, definitely not this year ...

Najib asked LKY, "Mr Lee, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," said LKY, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Najib frowned, and then asked, " But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
LKY took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
LKY pushed a button on his intercom.
"Please send Tony Tan in here, would you?"

Tony Tan walked into the room and said, "Yes, Mr Lee?"

LKY smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child.
It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Tan answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said LKY.

Najib went back home to ask Muhyiddin the same question. "answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.
It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Muhyiddin. "Let me get back to you on that one..."
He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Anwar Ibrahim's shoes in the next stall.

Muhyiddin didn't want but asked anyway, "Anwar, can you answer this for me?
Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?
Anwar yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Mahyudin smiled, and said, "Thanks!"

Then, he went back to speak with Najib."Sir, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It's Anwar Ibrahim!"

Najib got up, stomped over to Muhyiddin, and angrily yelled into his face.
"No! You idiot! It's Tony Tan!"
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Got your increment guys? :p

During increment time

Boss : There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the aeroplane. Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If ur boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed
So don't worry about your review.. Just enjoy ur work and enjoy life..
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Ever wondered how the phrase shit hits the fan came about? :p

[video]http://i.imgur.com/wmlCPQn.gifv[/video]

(Apologies, failed to embed the vid)
 
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yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Absolute Classic!!!

Heated gold is called ornament.

Beated copper is called wire.

Compressed carbon is called diamond.

Heated, beated and compressed human is called HUSBAND
 

no_faith

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
I was playing around and fucking around when i was young.
finally i met a girl of my life and get married. I was so happy.
on the marriage dinner night, i was immersed with alcohol and almost lost my consciousness.

the next day, i went out drinking wif my buddies again.
when they saw me, they ask why are u look so sad and gloomy, u just got married and shd be happy.
i replied this morning i woke up, i tink old habits die hard, i threw two $100 note on the table and go toilet to wash up.
my buddies told me every one has a bad past. Jus apologize sincerely to my wife.

I told them tats not the reason I was sad. She gave me back $50 change.:eek:
 
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